In April 2000 I went on a weekend women's
retreat at Ridgecrest in North Carolina. During this time I met a woman
who had a very strong testimony of what it took for her to finally have
the relationship with God that she wanted. Her life was one of pain,
discouragement, and confusion. But she persevered. And it is through
people like this that many of us receive inspiration to keep pressing on
in our own pursuit of God. Her testimony is written below.
Many years ago, a little girl was born, with the calling
of the Spirit of God in her heart. She lived in a small town and was taken
back and forth to church by two "angels" in disguise. For many
years this little girl read her Bible, sang to God, and tried to live her
life the way she should. Many people told her that God had a purpose for
her, and that one day she would learn what it was.
This girl eventually grew up and thought she was in
love, so she married. The very first night of marriage she realized that
she had made a terrible mistake. But the girl was headstrong and stubborn,
so she decided she could make it all work out somehow. For many years this
girl was mentally and physically abused day after day. The girl then had
the idea that if she had a baby everything would change. But the only
thing that changed was she now had someone to shield from the ugliness of
her life.
Many days and nights, this young woman would pray and go
to her Bible and try to understand where she had gone wrong. This went on
and on until the girl finally began to lose hope. One day after several
years of fighting this battle, the young woman decided to confront God.
She loaded up her daughter and drove around until she
came upon a church that she thought looked big enough for her to blend
into the crowd. She and her daughter went in and sat at the back of the
church.
The young woman began to pray quietly. She asked God
where he had been for the last seven years? Why had he not helped her? She
had followed his rules all her life, she had tried to be a good person and
look what she had gotten in return. Abandonment. As she prayed all these
things, a sweet song began to play.
God’s voice came to the young woman and told her that
he had been waiting for her all along. He would come in, but he had to
have an invitation first. He told her that every time he had gotten close,
she would push him away and try to solve everything herself.
The young woman sat quietly and tears began to flow down
her cheeks. She began to feel the release of all of the anger, sadness,
and disappointment that she had lived through. Like a warm blanket, God’s
love covered her and comforted her.
She left that church with a new attitude and resolve.
She made some changes in her life and began to slowly come out of her
cocoon. She prayed to God daily for him to send someone for her to love
that would be a good, Christian man--someone she could learn and grow with
spiritually.
God and his "angels" did send her someone very
special.
That woman is me. I married and started a new life with
him. With time, all of the wounds were healed and I even learned to
forgive. As time went on, I renewed my faith and commitment to God. In the
past six years, my family and I have had a life full of many blessings. As
my days go on, I feel like I am still searching for the ministry God has
prepared for me. No, I have not found it yet. But I am definitely on the
right path!
T.K.B
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